Past Love
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: The Cullen's are new to a school and Jasper finds a new person to care about. But there's something this boy is hiding. Can Jasper handle it when he finds out?
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing. Enjoy!

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"Time for school, Jasper," Alice said skipping through the house, "Come on, let's go. I can't wait."

"Why are you so excited?" I asked confused.

"Because of who is there," she said smiling.

"Who?" Emmett said walking into the living room.

"You'll find out," Alice said leaving the house, "Just remember to be open Jasper."

I stared at Alice as she climbed into a car with Edward and Bella. With a shake of my head I climbed in a different car with Emmett and Rosalie. We drove to our newest school and I waited in the car while everyone else got out.

I was trying to figure out what Alice was talking about, but knowing her she wouldn't tell anyone about what she was seeing. She wanted me to be open though, she should know me better then that by now.

Getting out of the car I accidentally hit a boy as I climbed out. The boy dropped a sketching pad into a puddle of water. My hand jutted out to make sure that the boy didn't fall down also.

Once I made sure that he wasn't going to fall I kneeled down and picked up the sketch pad. The wind picked up for a second and blew the sketch pad to the first page like it wanted me to see it.

The drawing was of black eyes framed with thick black eyelashes and blond hair falling over them gently. I stared at them and tried to think of where I had seen them before.

"This is wonderful," I said turning to him.

"Th-Thanks," he said blushing.

I stared at the boy and felt his confusion and fear directed towards me. It was like he was confused why I was being nice to him, but he refused to raise his head and look at me.

Before I could say anything else the boy took the sketch pad and walked off quickly. I couldn't stop myself from looking at the boy and watching him leave. There was something about his drawing that was getting to me.

"You coming?" Emmett asked from behind me.

"Yeah," I said nodding.

When I walked into the school Bella handed me my schedule. Nodding my head in thanks I looked at the first class and walked off. I knew that I wasn't going to have this class with anyone else in the family.

Once I was in the classroom I noticed that the boy I ran into was sitting in the back of the classroom with his head down. Taking a breath that wasn't needed I went and sat next to him.

He looked over at me through the corner of his eye and went back to writing in his notebook. The rest of the class started to file in and sit down. All expect one girl. She stared at the boy and sneered.

"You're new, right?" she asked looking at me.

"Yes," I said nodding.

"I'm Amber Burns," she said smiling, "And you've seemed to make a big mistake."

"How so?" I asked slowly.

"You're sitting next to that freak," she said pointing at the boy.

"Who says I'm not a freak too?" I asked smiling.

"Freaky enough to try to kill yourself?" she said smirking evilly, "You should try again Freak. Maybe we can get rid of you for good."

Amber laughed to herself before turning and sitting at the front of the class. I gasped softly when I felt sadness and self hate. Turning to the boy I noticed that he had tears in his eyes.

"I'm Jasper Hale," I said to him.

"Lucas," he said softly before turning away.

As much as I wanted to talk to him more I could feel him shutting down. I had never thought that someone could feel so broken. The feeling to pull him into a hug and try to comfort him overwhelmed me.

"Hello class," the teacher said walking in, "I'm Miss Vance. Welcome to Art. Today we're going to go about the rules."

I tried to listen to Miss Vance as she talked, but I couldn't focus on her. Lucas looked as horrible as he felt. He really needed someone to help him through whatever was going on.

The bell rang before I had time to come up with a reason to talk to him. Lucas rushed out of the room and dropped a notebook on the ground. I quickly picked it up and put it in my bag.

As much as I wanted to help him I knew that I would have to wait. Until then I would have to figure out more about him. I had never been more happy that Edward could read minds.

The next three classes before lunch I noticed Lucas in all of them. Each time I saw him I made sure that I sat next to him. When he noticed me a wave of confusion hit him along with something else that was pushed away before I could figure out what it was.

"Hey Jasper," Alice said grinning, "Being open?"

"Yeah," I said nodding, "If only the other person was."

"Yeah," she said calmly, "Alright, what did he drop?"

"A notebook," I said taking it out of my bag as the rest of the family came up.

"What's that?" Emmett asked sitting down.

"Sit down and shut up then we'll find out," Alice said smirking.

Emmett stuck his tongue out and waited. Once everyone was sitting down I placed the notebook on the middle of the table and opened it to the first page. It looked like it was a simple poem.

We flipped through the pages slowly. Poems and drawings were sketched through out it. The drawings were ranging from eyes to sunsets and everything in between. They looked amazing.

"Jasper," Rosalie said stopping at a drawing of eyes that was similar to the one I saw before, "Do you know who this is?"

"No," I said shaking my head, "But it looks familiar."

"It should," Emmett said nodding, "I guess it's easy for us to tell who this is because we see it, but you don't look in the mirror when you're hungry."

"What?" I asked confused.

"It's you Jazz," Alice said softly, "This is you."

I stared at her in confusion before looking down at the picture again. It was hard to believe that it was me. It was harder to think of how Lucas had drawn me when he's never seen me before.

"Edward," I said my eyes never leaving the drawing, "Can you find out what Lucas is thinking?"

"Sure," Edward said nodding.

I waited for Edward to find Lucas and listen to his thoughts for a while. When Edward focused back on us he looked worried and slightly sick. With a quick shake of his head he sighed and looked at us.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"He's thinking about you," Edward said slowly, "He wonders if you would notice if he didn't show up tomorrow or ever again."

"He's thinking of killing himself," Alice said sadly.

"Again," I said remembering what Amber said in class.

I shut the notebook and got up. I had to go find Lucas and figure out why I was so attached to him. Lucas had drawn pictures of me and I was growing too attached to him without knowing him.

Going throughout the whole school I searched for Lucas until I found him sitting under a tree outside. I took a few deep breaths that I didn't need before walking to him and waiting.

"Lucas," I said standing in front of him.

Lucas looked up and stared at me in confusion before he noticed the notebook in my hand. He jumped up quickly and pushed himself fully against the tree. Fear ran through him as his eyes looked up at me.

"They're me," I said softly, "You drew me."

"I…I did-didn't know," Lucas stuttered out.

"But you do now," I said handing the notebook to him, "You knew when you first saw me."

"I thou-thought it w-was my mind," he said trying to move back further.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I said sighing, "I just want to talk to you. We can go somewhere and talk."

"Sc-School?" he asked confused.

"Doesn't matter," I said shaking my head, "We can go to my house and talk. No one will be around but my mom."

Lucas looked around slowly. His hand shakily took the notebook from me before putting it in his bag. As he let out a sigh the lunch bell rang. I turned to the school to make sure Edward had told everyone that I was leaving.

When I had turned back around Lucas was walking down the street. I was about to start following him when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning around I saw Bella standing there with some keys.

Smiling at her I took the keys and raced to the car. Once I was in the car I drove to Lucas and motioned for him to get in. He quickly got in, but moved so he was pressed against the door.

"I know what you are," Lucas said softly.


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing. Enjoy!

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"Hello Jasper," Esme said smiling, "Oh, who are you Sweetie?"

"This is Lucas," I said feeling how nervous he was.

"Are you hungry?" she asked happily, "I can make you some food or get you something to drink. Do you want anything?"

"W-Water?" Lucas asked blushing.

"Of course Sweetie," she said turning and going to the kitchen.

I waited for Esme to get Lucas his water before leading him upstairs to my room. Motioning for him to sit on the bed I waited and hoped he would start to talk to me about how he knew.

Ten minutes had past and I was about to start talking when Lucas started to move around and dig through his bag. He dug for awhile before pulling out another notebook that looked years old and well worn.

Taking the notebook from him I read through it as quickly as I could. I felt my eyes grow wide with every new page. Lucas had written down my life since I had changed into a vampire.

"I dreamt of you," Lucas said biting his lip, "I still do. Every day I dream of you."

"Are there more of these?" I asked softly.

"Yes," he said nodding, "I didn't want to forget you. I write down my dreams every day. That's just the first one. I keep it with me to remember."

"Remember what?" I asked confused.

Lucas froze when I asked him that. I felt pain and hope run through him. I hated the fact that I was the one that was causing him pain when all I wanted was to erase everything that ever hurt him.

"Remember what?" I asked again.

"Me," Lucas said slowly, "I know it sounds silly and all, but you know me Jasper. At least you knew me. A long time ago and not as Lucas."

"What did I know you as?" I asked stepping closer.

"Davis Carlton," he said blushing.

I stared at him with wide eyes once again. Davis Carlton was another major in the war. We worked side by side day and night. He slowly became my best friend during the war.

We had just come up with a plan that would take out a lot of our enemies when they decided to launch an attack. They were coming right at me when Davis fired his gun and killed to people before being stabbed.

Once everything was under control I rushed to Davis side. He was barely breathing and I could see his eyes fading. I tried to stop the bleeding and save him, but he pushed my hand away from the wound.

A smile adorned his face as he pressed a bloody hand to my face and said he was glad he wasn't going to die alone. I wanted to be angry at him, but I didn't have the strength.

He looked up at me before telling me to forgive him. I was confused at first, but then I felt his hand tug me down to his level. His lips pressed gently against mine for a few moments before he pulled away completely.

The smile on his face had turned to a grin by now and his didn't open again. I sat there for hours wishing that I could take his place or that he would have kissed me long before that.

"I'm supposed to believe you're Davis," I said glaring at the ground.

"I am," Lucas said sighing, "Sort of."

"What do you mean 'sort of'?" I asked angrily.

"I was Davis," he said nodding, "In a past life."

"A past life," I said confused.

"Yes," he said biting his lip, "Most people don't remember past lives or they brush it off as déjà vu. I didn't. I couldn't. Not with you in my dreams. I remember that life and the lives we've shared before that."

"How is that possible?" I asked softly.

"I don't know," he said shaking his head, "How is it possible you're a vampire?"

I stared at Lucas for awhile longer before taking a few steps closer to him. Lucas looked at me confused, but most of his fear was gone by now. I understood why I was so connected to him. He was my mate.

Leaning forward I pressed my lips to his gently before pulling away completely. I was waiting for the uncontrollable urge to drain him overcame me, but I never felt the need to drink.

"Jasper?" Lucas asked slowly, "Are you alright?"

"Yes," I said surprised, "I am."

"Okay," he said nodding.

Smiling widely I moved forward again to kiss him. This time it was him that pulled back. He moved around so he was on the other side of the bed and let out a sad sigh.

As I moved to sit next to him I noticed that I no longer felt like I was doing something wrong. This is how it was supposed to be and I was going to make the best out of our time together.

Once I was sitting next to him I pressed a hand to his back and rub it as gently as I could. I didn't want to accidentally hurt him. I never wanted anything bad to happen to him.

When I was close enough to him to touch him Lucas threw himself into my arms and started to cry. I didn't understand at first, but I felt the waves of self-hate and fear racing off of him.

I held him tight to me and tried to figure out a way to comfort him, but nothing was coming to mind. I didn't even know why he was doing anything to hurt himself anyway.

"I have to go home," Lucas said through the sobs.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Because I'll be in trouble if I'm late," he said trying to get out of my grip.

"Don't leave," I said brushing his hair out of his face.

"I have to," he said sighing, "I have to leave Jasper. I'm sorry."

"Lucas," I said making him look at me, "Please tell me what's going on."

"I will," he said nodding quickly, "Please Jasper I have to go home now. I'll tell you everything tomorrow. Please."

"Alright," I said letting him go, "I'll see you at school?"

"Of course," he said pecking my lips before running out of the house.

I went to the window just in time to see Lucas run out the front door and away from the house. I could still feel the fear coming off of him and I was afraid that letting him go was the wrong thing.

Sighing I got off my bed and walked downstairs to be greeted by Esme. She smiled happily and said that she thought Lucas was a wonderful boy and was very happy for me.

I smiled back at her and allowed myself to be pulled into a hug. Esme might not have been my real mother, but she was an amazing mother and I was more then happy to let her baby me.

Would Lucas like her? We didn't really talk about everything that was going on now, just that we were meant to be. We had always been meant to be. He was my mate and I was never letting him go.

Slowly everyone, except Carlisle came home. They were all wondering what as going on between me and Lucas and I was glad to tell them. I was glad to tell anyone I had found my mate.

The rest of the time we all had fun playing on the game systems we had brought with us, but I couldn't stop the worry from filling me. Something was wrong with Lucas and I didn't know what.

As much as I didn't want to ask Alice to try to look and see if something was going to be wrong with Lucas I wanted to only do that. It felt like I was going to go insane if I didn't figure this out.

When nine o'clock rolled around Esme got a call from Carlisle telling her that a patient just rolled in and that hew as going to be late. It wasn't unusual for Carlisle to work late sometimes.

After awhile we were getting bored with the video games and we all decided to do something different. Alice and Rosalie were going to put on a fashion show for Esme and Emmett. While the rest of us played a board game.

It was always nice when we were able to have days where we all decided to be around each other. It wasn't that we didn't love each other, but after so long of living together you start to get on peoples nerves.

There was a slim chance that any of us were going to leave for long, but if we ever did we would always come back. This was our family and we would never forget that as long as we were alive.

"You're cheating," Edward said glaring at Bella.

"Prove it," Bella said smiling brightly.

It was perfect having everything like this. The only thing that would make it better would be to have Lucas here. Not that I ever felt like a third wheel when I was with my family.

"I love that dress," Esme said grinning.

"Thank you," Alice said spinning around.

We continued to play for another few hours before Alice stopped. Once she stopped we all did and stared at her. We were used to her having visions, but we still needed to know what they were about.

"Lucas is in the hospital," Alice said softly_._


	3. Chapter 3

I own nothing. I hope you guys like this. Honestly I've been on meds throughout this whole story so I don't know if this sucks. And no I'm not doing drugs for fun I got a perscribition, or however you spell that. Anyway. Enjoy!

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"What are you doing here Jasper?" Carlisle asked walking out of a patients room.

"Lucas," I said softly, "Where is he?"

"Lucas what?" he said slowly.

"I don't know," I said shaking my head, "Just tell me where he is."

"Calm down Jasper," he said pressing a hand to my shoulder, "You must calm down before we can find this boy for you. Tell me what he looks like."

"Medium blonde hair, green eyes, pale skin," I said looking around, "Please Carlisle you have to find him."

"I will," he said smiling, "Go sit down. I'll get you when I find him."

"Carlisle," I said trying to protest.

"Sit down," he said firmly.

Taking a deep breath I sat down in the waiting room. My hands kept fidgeting and I couldn't help but blame myself. I knew that I shouldn't have let him go home but I ignored my instincts.

I placed my head in my hands and tried to block the feelings that were rushing around me. I needed to relax before I saw Lucas. I wasn't going to lose him again even if it meant begging Carlisle to change him.

As I thought and tried to remember everything about Davis I realized he looked different. Except for his eyes. He still had the same deep green that I wanted to stare at forever.

It was weird, but once I had met Davis I felt completely attracted to him. I loved being near him. I tried to do everything to be around him, but I didn't know why I wanted him so much.

Then when he was dying he kissed me and I realized why I wanted to be around him so much. I had fallen in love with him and I had lost him before I could even really have him. It was happening again.

"Jasper," Carlisle said knocking me from my thoughts.

"Did you find him?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes," he said nodding, "His name is Lucas Gordon."

"Is he okay?" I asked softly.

"He was pushed out a third story closed window," he said sadly, "He's in surgery and we don't know if he's going to make it."

"He as to," I said desperately, "I can't lose him again."

"Who is he?" he asked looking into my eyes.

"My mate," I said running a hand through my hair, "My soul mate. Carlisle he remembers our past lives together."

"He does?" he said confused, "That doesn't happen often."

"He does," I said smiling sadly, "I lost him the last time and now I'm losing him again."

"If it comes to that would you change him?" he said calmly.

"Yes," I said quickly, "Of course I would. Just like you would with Esme. I can't lose him."

"Okay," he said trying to calm me, "You won't lose him this time. Go home and tell Esme that I won't be home tonight. I'll stay and make sure that Lucas won't die and if he does I'll change him. Alright?"

"Alright," I said nodding, "Please take care of him Carlisle."

"He's going to join our family Jasper," he said smiling, "I'll do everything to protect him just like I would you."

Nodding my head once again I turned and started to walk through the hallway outside. Once I was outside I made sure that I wasn't going to be seen I ran as fast as I could home.

When I was home Esme threw open the door and wrapped me in a big hug. As she held me I realized that if it was possible I would be crying at this moment. I actually was wishing that I could cry.

"Come on Sweetie," Esme said bringing me into the living room.

We walked into the living room and Esme sat on a rocking chair. She motioned for me to sit on the floor and place my head on her lap. After I did all of that she started to rock and run a hand through my hair while humming.

Closing my eyes I let her comfort fill me. This was one of the few times that I didn't want to act strong and I didn't really care if anyone thought less of me after all of this.

After awhile I could feel the worry all around me. Everyone was worried about me because of how I was acting. They didn't understand what was going on with me and Lucas since I didn't tell them.

"Alice," I said softly, "Do you know what happened?"

"Lucas was pushed out of a closed window," Alice said sadly.

"Who?" I said angrily.

"Jasper," Esme said trying to calm me.

"No," I said standing up, "Who pushed him Alice?"

"His uncle," Alice said looking away.

Growling angrily I didn't try to stop myself as I turned toward the wall and punched it as hard as I could. I could feel the wood splintering around my fist as I kept punching.

I felt two pairs of hands grab me and try to pull me away. Without thinking I turned toward where the hands were and punched. I saw Emmett dodge my fist, but I didn't think about it and threw another punch.

I could hear Alice and Esme telling me to stop, that this wasn't going to change anything. The only thing I wanted was to hear from Carlisle that Lucas was fine and he was going to live.

The anger that I felt was something that I could only remember feeling once before. When I was watching Davis die. It wasn't just anger that I was feeling either. I also felt guilty.

This was my fault. If I had just refused to let Lucas go home or I had gone with him he would be fine. I let my emotions cloud my judgment though. I ignored what I knew I shouldn't.

Feeling even angrier I ignored throwing punches and tackled Emmett. Emmett let out a surprised gasp, but didn't raise his arms to hit me. He did his best to block my hits, but I knew a few of them hit him.

"We have to stop him," Alice said loudly, "He'll kill Emmett if we don't."

I knew that I was supposed to stop and feel horrible for what I was doing, but I didn't. I could feel my self resolve slipping. For years I held back my strength and anger hoping that no one would notice.

As I continued to attack Emmett I heard the phone go off in the background. It accord to me that it might be Carlisle, but I didn't stop. I wouldn't stop until everything was okay.

"Lucas is okay," Edward said loudly.

Freezing I turned to him and glared in case he was lying. Edward offered me the phone calmly. Growling slightly I jumped off of Emmett and snatched the phone away from him.

"Hello," I said sneering.

"Calm down Jasper," Lucas said softly.

"Lucas," I said gasping, "You're alright."

"Of course I am," he said laughing, "I always am. Are you?"

"Yeah," I said nodding to myself.

"Is whoever you were beating up?" he asked slowly.

Turning around I looked at Emmett who was being supported by Rosalie. My eyes widened when I saw how much damage I actually did to him. I knew that if he wasn't a vampire I would have killed him.

"Emmett," I said in a whisper.

"Go to your man, Bro," Emmett said grinning, "I'll be fine."

"I'm coming," I said hanging up.

I walked closer to Emmett and stood in front of him for a while. Emmett ended up laughing softly to himself and hugging me slightly. Smiling I patted his back softly before running out of the house as quickly as I could.

When I got to the hospital Carlisle was sitting in the room with Lucas. Lucas was smiling and laughing happily with him. Though as I looked closer at him I noticed that he was holding his side.

Opening the door I moved slowly to Lucas's side. Lucas grinned happily at me and took my hand when I was close enough. Carlisle nodded to himself before leaving us alone.

"I was worried," I said softly.

"I know," Lucas said sighing, "But I had to do this."

"What happened?" I asked slowly.

"I'll tell you that later," he said pulling me closer to him, "Just come lay down with me and calm down."

Sighing I nodded my head and moved so I was laying next to him. Lucas smiling widely and cuddled into me. I let my eyes slip shut and take in his smell before I opened them once again.

"Feel better?" Lucas asked rubbing a hand over my chest.

"Yeah," I said nodding.

"Good," he said happily.

Lucas kissed me softly before resting his head on my chest and shutting his eyes. I listened to his breathing as it slowed. Once I knew he was asleep I looked down at him and watched him sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

I own nothing. **WARNING: **This chapter is getting into some sensitive topics of child abuse. Enjoy!

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"Quit worrying Jasper," Lucas said buttoning up his shirt, "I can walk down to your car."

"You broke two ribs," I said sighing, "Please, Lucas, just get in the wheelchair."

"Will you stop that look if I do it?" he asked softly.

"Yes," I said smiling as I helped him into the wheelchair.

"You owe me," he said once he was sitting.

Shaking my head I started to push Lucas through the hospital. He had been in there a week and we still hadn't talked about what happened. Every time I brought it up Lucas would smile and say it wasn't time.

Carlisle was going to be driving the car so I could stay in the backseat with Lucas. He quickly got out of the car to put the wheelchair back in the hospital while I got Lucas into the car.

Once everyone was in the car Lucas started talking about rainbows. Carlisle smiled softly and told me that he had written a prescription for Lucas and the meds were going to be messing with his head for awhile.

I smiled back at him and had Lucas rest his head on my chest. Lucas cuddled into me the best he could before he started to play with my jacket. I could feel him shaking under my hands and hoped it wasn't because of how cold I was.

"Carlisle," Lucas said in a singsong voice.

"Yes Lucas?" Carlisle said like he was talking to a child.

"Is Jasper sick?" he asked looking into my eyes.

"No he's not," Carlisle said softly, "Why do you ask?"

"He's cold," he said biting my lip, "He's so cold."

"Lucas," I said running a hand through his hair, "What am I?"

"An amazingly gorgeous vampire," he said giggling.

"That's right," I said knowing I'd be blushing if I could, "And do you know what makes a human hot?"

"The blood pumping through our veins," he said pressing my hand to his chest so I could feel his heart beat.

Gasping I gripped the seat with my other hand as hard as I could. Before this I had never felt blood lust for Lucas, I hadn't taken the time to hear or feel his heart beating so deliciously.

"Carlisle," I said through gritted teeth.

"Lucas," Carlisle said quickly, "Move away from Jasper."

"Why?" Lucas asked confused.

"Now," he said firmly.

Lucas stared at me before moving away. Tears were filling his eyes as he wrapped his arms around his knees and pulled them to his chest. I wanted to reach over to him and comfort him, but I knew that wasn't a good idea.

Carlisle pulled the car to the side of the road and nodded his head. I nodded back in thanks and quickly got out of the car. Shutting the door I watched tears drip down Lucas's face.

I kept my eyes trained to the car as they pulled away. Lucas was staring at me through the back window. Sighing I turned away and ran into the woods. I needed to hunt before I went home.

As they drove away I could still feel Lucas's confusion and hurt. I was hurting him. If I could have stayed with him I would have, but I would have drained him if I had even thought about it.

I won't be the one that hurts Lucas. Not after him just getting out of the hospital. I had yet to think about how dangerous it was to be with a human. Now though, it was all I could think of.

I wanted nothing more than to protect him from everything out there. Who was going to protect him from me? I was the most dangerous thing to him while he was a human.

Sighing I ran through the forest before finding an animal. Once I had drank as much as I could I started to make my way home. Instead of running as fast as I could I took my time.

When I got there I saw Carlisle sitting outside waiting for me. The closer I walked to him the more nervous I felt, though all I could feel from him was calm. He wasn't upset about what I almost did.

"Jasper," Carlisle said patting the seat next to him.

I slowed my walking once again feeling like I just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. Carlisle smiled softly and waited for me to sit. I was hoping that he wasn't going to give me a lecture.

"I'm proud of you Jasper," Carlisle said softly.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I'm proud of you," he said again, "You felt that you were going to lose control and you realized that you needed out of that situation before it got worse."

"Lucas is upset," I said sighing.

"Yes," he said nodding, "You're going to explain to him what happened."

"It's too dangerous," I said shaking my head.

"Talk to him Jasper," he said firmly, "You're not going to run away from this. Now, Lucas is in your room sleeping. When he wakes up have him take the pill that's on the desk."

"Okay," I said standing up, "And thank you."

"You're welcome, son," he said watching me go into the house.

Going into the house I walked past everyone and made my way upstairs. Opening the door to my room I saw Lucas laying on my bed. I smiled softly at how peaceful and innocent he looked.

I kneeled next to Lucas and ran a hand through his hair. I could hear his heartbeat loudly now. As much as I wished I could just taste his blood, knowing it would be the sweetest thing I've ever had, I couldn't.

"I'm sorry," Lucas muttered his eyes opening slightly.

"For what, Sweetheart?" I asked confused.

"Whatever I did that made you mad at me," he said tears filling his eyes again.

"I'm not mad at you," I said reaching for the pills, "Take these."

"No," he said shaking his head.

"Lucas," I said sighing.

"No," he yelled taking the pills and throwing them, "I don't want to take anymore pills. I'm tired of being drugged and not knowing what is going on. Please Jasper, just tell me what's going on."

"Okay," I said raising my hands, "Calm down before you hurt yourself."

"I don't care," he said glaring at me, "Don't you understand. You can feel what I feel, right?"

"Yes," I said nodding.

"Tell me what I feel," he said standing up.

I tried to reach out to steady him but he pushed my hands away. He was hurting me more than I thought anyone could. Sighing I closed my eyes and waited for the onslaught of emotions to hit me.

Anger, pain, self-hatred, confusion, hurt, and love filled me. I took a step back at the strength of the emotions. My eyes widened at the thought that Lucas was feeling all of these mostly because of me.

"You keep asking me what happened," Lucas said the anger growing, "The truth is I don't remember. I never do. I wake up in the hospital after someone sees me hurt and I can't remember a thing about it. And I don't know why."

"Lucas," I said surprised.

"After I wake up I feel horrible," he said looking away, "I feel like I need to take a boiling hot shower and burn it away. Why do I feel that?"

"I have an idea," I said hating my thoughts, "I need to ask Carlisle though."

"Don't leave," he said gripping my hand, "Please Jasper. Please don't leave me."

"Shh," I said pulling him to me, "I won't. Carlisle, please come up here."

Lucas wrapped his arms around my neck and started to sob. I lifted him up as gently as I could and laid him back down on the bed. A knock on the door alerted me to Carlisle's entrance.

"What is wrong?" Carlisle asked worriedly.

"Lucas threw the pills over there," I said motioning with my hands, "Can you get them first?"

"Sure," he said getting them quickly, "Is there anything else?"

"Here," I said ignoring Carlisle, "I promise you Lucas. Everything will be okay."

"Okay," Lucas said childishly.

Smiling softly I placed the pills into his mouth before kissing him gently. Lucas lifted his hand and tangled it in my hair while pressing his lips firmly against mine. As much as I hated the fact that Carlisle was sitting next to me I wouldn't pull away.

I pressed closer and opened my lips to Lucas when he ran his tongue over my lips. Lucas let out a loud moan and continued to pull me down until I was laying on top of him.

I could feel Carlisle's discomfort and I wanted to stop that, but I could feel Lucas needing to know that he had someone there with him more. While we kissed I could hear his heartbeat starting to slow.

When I pulled away I saw Lucas smile contently before his eyes slipped completely shut. Clearing my throat softly I got up and refused to look Carlisle in the eye for a moment.

"Why did you call me up here?" Carlisle asked slightly amused.

"I think Lucas was raped," I said sadly.


	5. Chapter 5

I own nothing. **WARNING**: Sexual abuse themes. Enjoy!

* * *

"You were right Jasper," Carlisle said sadly, "I don't see how we missed it when he was at the hospital. It looks like it's been going on for years."

"How could this happen?" I asked anger growing inside me, "How could people have missed this for so long?"

"I don't know," he said sighing, "And it happens more often then I'd like to admit. We know now though and we can start to help him."

"What are we supposed to do?" I asked softly.

"He needs to talk about it," he said leaving the room and motioning for me to follow him, "From what I saw during the examine he grew up being abused and didn't have anyone to turn to. He might not know what is going on is a bad thing. You need to get him to open up to you it will be easier to get the authorities involved."

"Then what will happen to him?" I said confused.

"I'll adopt him," he said smiling, "And he can come live with us if it comes to that."

"Okay," I said nodding, "I'll talk to him when he wakes up."

"Alright," he said calmly, "Now, go upstairs and stay with him. I'll ask Esme to make some soup for Lucas when he's awake."

Sighing to myself I turned around and went back into my bedroom. This time I decided that I was going to lay next to Lucas. I wanted to hold Lucas as long as I could before doing this.

I could hear and feel his heartbeat and I started to take unneeded deep breaths. My mouth started to water at the thought of how close I was. I knew that I could stop breathing all together, but that wouldn't help.

Closing my eyes I listened to his blood pumping through his veins. I thought that maybe if I could get myself used to the sound I wouldn't feel the need to drain him as much as I do.

As I listened to his heartbeat I felt myself falling into a deep meditation. I had learned long ago that meditating was the best thing for me when I had nothing to do and my mind was running wild.

I cleared my thoughts of everything expect for the rushing of the blood. Running my tongue across my fangs I thought about everything I wanted to do with Lucas. I wanted to make him scream my name until he lost his voice.

Losing myself in my thoughts I barely realized that Lucas had woken up. The only thing I was thinking was how soon I would be able to be with him. I jumped when I felt a tentative hand on the hard on I was now sporting.

"I can help," Lucas said softly.

Opening my eyes I looked down at him fighting the want I felt. I stared into his eyes and saw something that made all of the thoughts run from my mind. His eyes held fear.

"No," I said removing his hand, "We need to talk."

"It will feel good," Lucas said moving closer, "Trust me."

"Stop," I growled out firmly.

Lucas moved away with his eyes wide once more. His heart started to beat faster and I let out a sigh bringing him into a hug. I held back another growl as he started to kiss my neck.

"Lucas," I said swallowing roughly, "You need to stop. We have to talk."

"I don't want to," Lucas said straddling my waist, "Want to have fun."

"Stop," I said my mind getting distracted when he pulled my earlobe into his mouth and sucked.

"Do you want to?" he asked innocently.

"Yes," I said gritting my teeth.

"I do too," he said grinding down on me, "So what's the problem?"

"You were raped," I said trying not to move.

"What?" he said freezing.

"You were raped," I said sighing, "That's what I had Carlisle check for before. That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"You're lying," he said climbing off my lap.

"You know I'm not," I said sadly, "You know that's why you felt dirty and why you end up in the hospital so often. You're being abused Lucas."

"No I'm not," he said glaring at me.

"Lucas," I said trying to grab his hand.

"No," he yelled pulling away, "I don't believe you. My uncle would never do that to me."

"You told me that you would tell me what happened the night you fell out the window," I said sending calming waves his way, "Tell me now."

"I got in a fight with my uncle," he said moving toward the door, "My head started to spin and I…don't remember after that. I must have fallen out of the window. It's happened before."

"Listen to me Lucas," I said putting my hand on the door so he couldn't leave, "You're uncle drugged you, that's why you don't remember. Then he raped you before throwing you out the window. He's done it before from what you've said."

"I want to see my uncle," he said staring at me, "Please."

"I'll get Carlisle and we'll go together," I said moving my hand and opening the door.

Lucas nodded numbly and followed me downstairs. I wanted to take him into my arms, but I felt like that was just going to make things worse. He needed to do this alone for the most part.

When we got downstairs Carlisle had car keys in his hand waiting for us. The three of us got in the car and drove in silence. We made it to Lucas's house without any words.

Before I could stop him Lucas was running into the house. A sudden jolt of anger shot through me and I ran after him with Carlisle. Once we were in the house I saw Lucas laying on the ground holding his cheek.

Kneeling next to Lucas I felt hurt and confusion radiating off of him. I looked closer at him and saw that his lip was split open. Lucas looked up at me and threw his arms around my neck.

"You were right," Lucas said sobbing.

"Jasper," Carlisle said calmly, "Take Lucas home. I'll be there in awhile with some of Lucas's things."

From the way Carlisle was talking I knew that I shouldn't argue. Helping Lucas up was went to the car in silence. Once I was in the drivers seat Lucas was curled against my side and sobbed.

I wrapped my arm around him and kissed his forehead hoping I could find a way to calm him down. The emotions rolling off of him where the things I hoped he'd never had to feel.

The more I thought about it the more I realized that I could have stopped it. I've been missing Lucas during his life times because I was a vampire. He lived and died alone.

There had to have been a way for me to stop this from happening. I should have been able to stop this or catch it a lot sooner. Now though, I could help Lucas in anyway that he needed.

"I'm not leaving," I whispered softly into Lucas's ear, "I'm not leaving you."

Lucas nodded his head against my neck and curled in tighter. I shut the car off when I was in front of the house and easily lifted him up. He wrapped his arms around my neck and allowed me to carry him.

Esme opened the door for me and handed me a quilt she had made years ago. Smiling slightly I pulled the quilt over Lucas and went the couch in the living room to sit down.

Lucas sat on my lap curled in a ball while I rubbed his back. I heard his stomach growl at the same time that Esme came in with a ham sandwich. I smiled again at her and remembered how much I loved her motherly instincts.

"Not hungry," Lucas said when I handed him the sandwich.

"I know Sweetheart," I said softly, "But you have to eat."

"Please," he said desperately.

"Just take five bites," I said running a hand through his hair, "Just five bites."

Lucas lifted a shaky hand and took the sandwich from me. I watched him closely as he took the bites. He finished the sandwich and bite his lips gently. A cup of water appeared next to Lucas.

He looked over and saw Carlisle standing there with a huge grin on his face. When Lucas and I saw that a little of the tension left our bodies. It was nice to know that Carlisle got out of there quickly.

Lucas took the water from Carlisle and put in on the table next to the couch. Carlisle looked confused at first, but Lucas hugged him tightly and he started to understand.

For the past few weeks Lucas was getting the things that he hadn't before. Carlisle and Esme were acting like parents to him and loving him like their own son, something he didn't have growing up.

And from what I saw at school he didn't have any friends and now everyone in the family was not only his friend, but his family. He was loving every minute of having caring people around him

With me though, I loved him with all of my heart and I wasn't going to let him go. He was my mate. He has always been my mate. There wasn't a chance that I was going to let him go if I could help it.

"You're moving in with us," Carlisle said when Lucas pulled back.


	6. Chapter 6

I own nothing. Enjoy!

* * *

"Are you sure about this Jasper?" Lucas asked biting his lip, "I mean, I don't want to impose."

"I wouldn't want it any other way," I said kissing his lips gently, "I'm happy to share a room with you."

"Okay," he said nodding.

"Now," I said bringing him closer to me, "We're going to go shopping."

"Why?" he asked confused.

"Because it's time to redo our room," I said smiling, "So it's really our room."

"Jasper," he said sighing.

"I want this," I said running a hand through his hair, "Do you?"

"Of course," he said instantly, "I want this Jasper."

"What's the problem then?" I said softly.

"I don't want you to realize that I'm not the right person for you," he said blushing, "After awhile you'll learn all these really annoying things about me and you'll regret this."

"Lucas," I said sitting on the bed and pulling him onto my lap, "I want to show you something."

"What?" he asked staring at me.

Smiling I pressed my lips against Lucas's as gently as I could. I wanted to tease him a little to help him understand that I wanted this to go on forever. This wasn't going to be a one time thing nor was it going to go quickly.

Lucas broke the kiss and stared into my eyes. Even without the ability to feel his emotions I could see the love and caring through his eyes. He let out a content sigh and rested his head on my shoulder.

We stayed in that position for awhile. I never wanted to move from this. I loved the warmth that was seeping from Lucas. A knock on the door brought both of us back to reality.

"Sorry to interrupt," Carlisle said smiling, "But we need to go talk to the police."

I felt Lucas stiffen instantly at the thought. He had barely come to terms about his past and now he had to talk to complete strangers about it. I couldn't blame him for the fear he was feeling.

"Don't make me go alone," Lucas said gripping my hand.

"Never," I said lifting him to his feet, "We'll put off shopping for another day."

"Here," Carlisle said handing Lucas keys, "You can drive."

"I can't," Lucas said shaking his head, "I don't know how."

"You don't know how to drive?" I asked confused.

"Yeah," he said blushing.

"Why not?" I said cocking an eyebrow.

"It's silly," he said turning away.

"It's not silly if it's affecting you," I said wrapping an arm around his waist, "Tell me."

"When I first got behind the wheel the only thing I could think of was the car twisting and breaking and killing people," he said shrugging, "I decided not to learn how to drive after that."

"That's not stupid," I said kissing his neck, "I'll drive."

Lucas smiled slightly and handed me the keys. Nodding to Carlisle I pushed Lucas gently toward the stairs. We had to get this over with and it wasn't going to go away by taking our time.

We got to the car and started to drive to the police station. Lucas had curled up on the seat and rested his head on the window. I wanted to make him feel better, but I didn't know how to.

Looking around the car I tried to think of something that would at least distract him. I smiled slightly to myself when I remembered that Alice had left a few soundtracks in the car.

I quickly got a cd out of the glove box and put it in the cd player. Lucas turned to me with a confused look on his face, but I just smiled happily at him. Turning the music on I stared at the road and hoped that I had picked the right cd.

The soundtrack to 'Hairspray' started to play loudly. Lucas smiled at me and started to sing quietly with the music. I had never been much of a fan of musicals, but Lucas was.

Listening to the soundtracks and watching the movies, maybe even taking him to a few Broadway performances, would be completely worth it to see that the sheer bliss on his face.

After all of the years of living with Alice I had seen so many musicals. 'RENT' and 'Hairspray' were her favorites so I had learned the words to them by now. As Lucas's voice got louder I started to sing with him.

We sang and laughed until we stopped in front of the police station. Lucas instantly got quiet and reached over towards my hand. I got out of the car and ran to his side of the car as quickly as I could.

"Not leaving, Sweetheart," I whispered hugging me, "Never."

Lucas nodded his head but refused to talk. I guided him to the building and sat him down when we were inside. Talking to the woman at the desk quickly and explaining to her what was going on.

She smiled sadly at both of us before saying she'd go and get a detective to come and talk to us. I said my thanks and went over to Lucas. Feeling the fear and anxiety in Lucas I kneeled in front of him and took his hand in mine.

"Excuse me," a woman said softly, "I'm Detective Michelle Pike. What are your names?"

"I'm Jasper Hale," I said not looking away from Lucas, "This is Lucas Gordon."

"Hello," Michelle said smiling, "Please come with me to a private room."

I stood up and brought Lucas with me. Once he was standing up I pulled him to me and wrapped my arms around his waist. He attached to me almost instantly like he was making it so I couldn't leave him.

"Would you like something to drink?" Michelle asked us both when we got into the room.

"No," Lucas said softly, "I just want to get this over with."

"Okay," she said nodding, "Tell me what happened. Take your time and if it gets too difficult we can take a break. If you need anything just ask and I'll do my best to get it for you."

Lucas nodded his head and took a deep breath. His heart was beating faster then normal and I sent him a wave of calm. He turned to me and smiled slightly before opening his mouth to talk.

Michelle listened to Lucas's story without changing her facial expressions, but I could few how much it was affecting her. Anger, pain, and sympathy were running through her.

It was about half way through Lucas telling what happened that I decided that both of them needed a break. Michelle was close to tears and Lucas was having a hard time talking through his sobs.

"Detective Pike," I said softly, "Can we take that break now?"

"Sure," Michelle said nodding, "Do either of you want something?"

"A green chile cheese burger," I said knowing they were Lucas's favorite.

"Okay," she said standing up, "I'll be back with that in a few."

Once Michelle had left the room I pulled Lucas closer to me. Lucas moved so his head was resting on my shoulder and let out a deep sigh. Kissing his forehead I wiped the tears away.

I placed my hand on Lucas's back and rubbed it in small circles. He shut his eyes and smiled slightly. Through all the pain he was feeling I could tell that me being here was helping a lot and that confused me.

"I love you," Lucas said softly.

"I love you too," I said smiling.

Michelle walked back in the room and placed the food in front of us. I smiled up at her and opened the food wrapper for Lucas. Lucas took the sandwich in shaky hands and started to eat.

"Detective," I said calmly, "We can continue."

"Okay," Michelle said sitting across from us.

Lucas swallowed roughly and picked up talking. As hard as it was to talk about Lucas was going through it a lot easier than I had originally thought. Although talking about it with Carlisle and myself first might have helped.

When Lucas was done talking he turned to me and wrapped his arms around my neck. Michelle said that she would give us a moment alone and left. After awhile Lucas stood up and pulled me with him.

We walked out of the room and saw Michelle standing outside. She told us that it was going to take some time, but that other officers were already getting Lucas's uncle. She also said she'd call us when the trial was going to start.

I smiled calmly at her and left the police department with Lucas. We drove home in silence, listening to music wasn't a distraction this time. When we got home Lucas went inside and up to our room.

"How did it go?" Esme asked watching Lucas go upstairs.

"As good as expected," I said shrugging, "We just have to wait for the trial now."

"He's going to be staying here," Carlisle said smiling, "And maybe one day he'll join us."

I smiled when I heard that. I couldn't lose him again. Watching him die the first time was too much. Turning him was going to be just as bad, but in the end I'd have him forever.


	7. Chapter 7

Last chapter. A few years in the future. I own nothing. Enjoy!

* * *

"Happy anniversary, Jasper," Lucas said coming up behind me and biting my neck.

A smile graced my lips when Lucas's arms wrapped around my waist. I would never get used to the warmth that was supplied, though both of us were as cold as cold could be.

Lucas and I had been married for about six years now, wedding designed by Alice, while Lucas was changed, by Carlisle, about seven years ago. Which was a year after we had first met.

We had planned to change him when I was ready to change him. Both of us thought that it would be better if I was the one that changed him and we were going to get ready for two years. There was an accident though.

Emmett and Lucas were driving to a local bookstore when the passengers' side door was hit. If they weren't right outside of the store where they were going to meet Carlisle Lucas wouldn't have made it.

It took Lucas basically attacking Emmett before he stopped blaming himself. Although watching Lucas sitting on Emmett's chest telling him off was quite a funny thing to watch.

Lucas had become part of the family easily. Him and Alice were always shopping and dressing everyone up. I can't count the number of times I found Lucas wearing a skirt.

Emmett and him loved hunting together, Rosalie and him worked on all of the cars, Carlisle and him studied and talked about vampires, Edward and him listened to music, Esme and him cooked and redid the house a lot, and Bella and him talked about different books.

He got along with everyone and as I spent more time with him I started to fall deeper in love wit him. It was amazing to watch him come further out of his shell as the years go on.

I had learned a lot about him and about the lives that we had lived. Lucas remembered everything that had happened to him in the past. There were times that it worried me, but he seemed happy even when the thoughts made him sad.

"Jasper," Lucas said poking my nose, "What are you thinking?"

"Just remembering," I said smiling.

"Regretting anything?" he asked softly.

"Never," I said kissing his gently.

No matter how many years went by or how many lives we shared Lucas still worried that I didn't want to be with him. He thought that there was someone better out there for me.

I tried to explain to him that I would never want anyone else and I loved him more then I could explain. I hated when I felt that flash of doubt run through him. I wanted nothing more then to find who hurt him and kill them.

"I love you," Lucas said when I pulled away.

"I love you too," I said smiling happily.

"I want a puppy," he said staring at me.

"Talk to Carlisle," I said laughing.


End file.
